|
| After these couple of months i've realized that you're simply incapable of loving, it's true. how can you expect a guy to love you and give you his all when you are always half-assed invested in it? you get bored, and then it's just on to the next guy just like your mom. What guy has she been with for long-term? Honestly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I don't know how many hearts you have to break in order for you to realize that guys have fucking hearts too. You can't just fucking play around with it seriously like that and just walk away. Shit ain't like that.
To be honest, I think you're gonna have to go thru 20 guys before you get 'tired' and settle down for whoever the fuck happens to be there at the time. I will feel bad for that sucker then. Hopefully you won't feel like a slut that your magic number has gone up to double digits either, i mean you really not that far away from it right now (talk about being a 'lady'). Frankly, it's ok. You want to put yourself out there like a fucking video game just cuz you're 'young', then so be it. I'm not gonna step in the way of your casual slut mess cuz my ass is on point right now.
I'd rather deal with this bleeding heart right now than a fucking atom bomb later. It's better this way, cuz I really just forcing myself to love a girl that didn't deserve all of this to begin with. It was my fault
your goods are no longer good for anything homegirl | | |
| woot on xanga again..
cept nowadays on im this p.o.s. late at night to help out with not being able to sleep. i dont know where or when this sleeplessness will end but it's seriously getting ridiculous man. Hopefully like my mom says, all this insomnia will go away once i have the right work schedule. As of right now, i have a tummy ache and i wanna make that english muffin for breakfast. nah gotta take like a lil nap soon or something | | |
| will it be till i can finish? i wanna meet my maker soon.
life down here is great and all but theres only so many worldly things you can do before going insane
maybe i'm just waiting for things to pick back up. things are passing by slowly
but everything passes by so fast for everyone else. do people have time anymore to stop and smell the roses
i'm not talkin about polluted downtown LA air but rather the nice breeze in the suburbs we get at night
i love my 4 year college plan and everything that's set in stone in my life..jk im still thinkin of something better to do but till then i gotta stick to this plan i guess? someone lemme break outta this mold.
im finding out and learning a lotta things everyday though its not from the classroom and my textbooks. i long to be with You..take me away eternally - i wouldn't mind spending forever learning my lesson in purgatory
| | |
|
Will the rainstorms ever end,
Still i feel my path narrow,
I run again,
Seem happiness is gone again,
And then you see 'em,
Grey clouds up above man,
Metaphor to my life man,
still i feel my heart stronger then its ever been,
Strong will to my journey ends,
'Til then I roll,
More then I've ever rolled not pills but the mary tho,
Still i feel my eyes heavy when the day goes,
Nothing helping with my head dose,
But I aint sleepin',
Awake in another state,
Livin' in a new space,
Still i feel my mind runnin' at a steady pace,
God help me so I'll win the race
til then i call..the sky might fall
edit- *Being lost is not a matter of conduct but rather a condition of the heart. A change of behavior for the better will not alter that state. What's needed is transformation in a person's very nature. | | |
| so lately i havn't been able to sleep
guess i'll just type what's on my mind
it hurts me a lot to think about what could have been
and what really happened and everything that came in between
my life spins up and down side to side uncontrollably
and i get scared that one day i just won't be able to hold on anymore
so many things hitting me at once,
it's like that one time i went up to mt baldy
there was this big ass snowstorm, i covered my face but the sharp snow still managed to hit against it
we're all just expected to take it
its some serious bullshit
social constructs ruin everything in my life
but i always think about things i need to do or can do.
and maybe it'll take my mind off a lotta stuff
now i suppose i'll have enough time to do it
-renovate the main computer room: add sofa, tv and a beanbag + a little decor?
-put the driftwood into the turtle tank, buy more gravel (black)
-update my wiikey on my wii
-do the oil and filter change myself, check the engine gasket
-make my bedroom look decent for once
-look for something productive to do during summer
i think i finally understand the meaning of being contempt though
it just took me awhile to realize it
this 3 day weekend has been very refreshing for me
lol who knows maybe one day i will achieve enlightenment
i pray to God for everyone and everything though and to lead me the right way
and not down a dark path..i have faith in him
♠ ace
| | |
|
